Hope for the Broken

 

Everyone has felt the feeling of being broken before. Where you can legit feel your heart crumble inside of your chest…. No matter how you try to cover it up, the feeling of pain, brokenness, emptiness, and unworthiness begins to settle. You want to talk to people about it, but you have this voice in your ear telling you, “no one cares and no one understands. They don’t want to hear about your problems and what’s hurting you.” The voice that keeps us quiet, as if everything is alright. But, deep down, you’re drowning by your own thoughts. There’s been multiple times where I’ve felt this exact pain,  so you’re not alone. There’s been times where I didn’t even want to look myself in the mirror because of all the hurt and pain that I was battling. I felt disgusted with myself, because I thought to myself, “here you go again, Jemiah…putting yourself through unnecessary hurt AGAIN.” It felt like an on going cycle. Like a nightmare that would begin from the beginning over and over but wouldn’t end. Before I fully surrendered my life to Christ, I didn’t know how to cope with this hurt and bottled up pain. I turned to fleshly desires that I “thought’ would satisfy me. I turned to weed, liquor, sex, toxic relationships, and other things that didn’t do anything but dig me into a deeper hole. I hated myself for continuing to put myself into the same situations and getting the same results. Holding in how I felt and covering it up because of fear of how people would see “me,” that I got to a point where I didn’t feel at all. I was completely numb to every single thing, I didn’t realize I was hurting anymore….I thought it suddenly went away, when it was just all hiding dormant. I didn’t have anyone to encourage me and uplift me, because I was too ashamed to open up. I was ashamed to confront my hurt so that I could fully heal the way God desired for me to. I didn’t think God cared about me anymore, I didn’t think He was there at the moment because for 1, I wasn’t focused on Him. For 2, I thought He was allowing me to feel this way, when it actuality, I did it to myself. Now, He DID allow me to continue to fall on my face so that I would finally turn to Him, and I did. I couldn’t fight those battles on my own and I didn’t want to. I gave up and allowed God to step in and takeover…and, I’m glad that I did.

 

Confrontation and Honesty

These 2 words hold so much power. Confrontation means that even when you necessarily don’t want to face something, its important that you do. Why? Because when we confront our hurt, pain, and anything else that we may be battling, that means we’re tired. Being tired means you’re DONE battling and ignoring the problem. It means you’re ready for change and you’re ready to receive your healing. Have you ever been so tired, that you don’t care how desperate you look to be better and move forward? That’s me. I believe until you reach that breaking point, you won’t see results and things beginning to change. I remember a couple of months ago, crying myself to sleep every single night. Pressing my face into my pillow so no one would hear me because I didn’t want to hear, “whats wrong?” I didn’t want to confront what was hurting me, I didn’t want to deal with it. I just wanted to privately cry and continue to ignore it. One morning, I prayed and asked God to heal me. I told God that I was tired and hurting to the point where I couldn’t continue to move forward. He instantly gave me a scripture that gave me reassurance. He gave me Psalm 34:18 – “The LORD is close to the brokenhearted; he rescues those whose spirits are crushed.” It was that reminder of Him being there, that changed everything. I instantly began to repent and confront all of how I felt to God. I began to cry out and pour out to God. As I was crying out to Him, I heard Him say, “I will give you rest, rest in me and my word. I have already given you healing, now receive it.” Immediately, I got up and received the healing that God had already provided. You see, our faith, honesty, and perspective can change SO much. I began to see myself as healed, renewed, and restored. I began to thank God for His healing power and for allowing me to go through those hardships because they were all purposeful, although at the time, I didn’t think they were. This brings me to honesty… God delights in our honesty because if we’re not being honest, we’re being liars, and lying isn’t of God. the Bible says, “But if we confess our sins to him, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all wickedness.” (1 John 1:9). You see, confession is very important. Without it, how can God truly work on our hearts? How can He restore us if we aren’t even honest with Him and even ourselves. Be honest always. Talk about how you feel and what’s bothering you. Never hesitant to pour out to God and cry out to Him. He’s our Father and comforter. He is close to those who are crushed in spirit. Also, never be ashamed to share and talk to your brothers and sisters in Christ. Ask them for prayer and encouragement. They care and they are there for you… don’t listen to the lies of the enemy. You are never alone. 

 

Give yourself time/Change your perspective 

Give yourself time to heal. A lot of us don’t take out the time that we need and the time that God NEEDS to heal and restore us. It is Gods desire for us to be whole and completely healed. Whether you are healing from a relationship, friendship, family issues, and etc…take time out for yourself. It is ok to say no. It is ok to not be ok. It is ok to not have it all together and figured out. Sometimes, we try to rush the healing process and we shouldn’t. You want to step back and let God heal you COMPLETELY. God wants to carry your baggage for you, He wants you to cast ALL of your cares and all thats hurting you, on to Him. Focus on Jesus and becoming a better version of yourself. Reflect on where you messed up and how you can be better the next time. Focus on BREAKING the cycles that you continue to go through. Reflecting and changing your perspective can put you into a better mind state during your process of healing. Don’t regret all you’ve been through, don’t hate yourself and the decisions you’ve made. Thats self condemnation, and there is NO condemnation to those who are in Christ Jesus. But, there is grace, love, and mercy available for you. There is forgiveness available for you. God knows we will do things and mess up before we even do it. But because He’s such a great Father and He wants us to grow and mature, He allows us to go through these things so that we can learn and be better the next time. So, I encourage you to count it ALL joy when you face hardships. For all things work together for the good of those who love Jesus. Continue to focus on digging deeper into God and His word and He will handle everything else. Don’t just go through it, GROW through it!

 

Psalm 147:3 – He heals the brokenhearted And binds up their wounds.

 

Prayer:

Heavenly Father, thank you for your healing power. Thank you for your comfort and protection that you show me. I pray that you give me the strength to endure every hardship and situation that I go through, even if I don’t understand why. I trust you with my heart and I know that you are faithful and just to heal and restore my heart. Help me to be honest with you and help me to change my perspective. Cancel and block every assignment of self condemnation and everything else that didn’t come from you. I know that you are healing me and comforting me. Help me to desire you and you alone. In Jesus name, amen. 

I love you, and God loves you more. – JemiahMB

 

 

But God, I’m Tired of Waiting!!!

 

 

Ecclesiastes 3:1 – For everything there is a season, a time for every activity under heaven.

At some point in life, we have all been in a situation where we’ve been tired of waiting. Whether it be waiting for that job to call you back, a family member getting saved, wanting to walk in your calling and purpose, you finding your significant other, or just being “comfortable” where you are in life. Patience turns into weariness, you begin to have doubt and fear about your future, you begin to question yourself and your self value because you feel as though you aren’t “moving” the way you think you should be. And, sadly, you begin to question God. You begin to ask Him, “But God, didn’t you say this would happen? I’ve been 100% obedient to you and I’ve been seeking your face like never before. Why, why, why?” I know why… our “good” deeds and time spent with the Lord does not equate Him giving us everything that we want or think that we need in the time that we want it. We have gotten to a place of comfortability in our walks with the Lord that we have began thinking, “If I do this, then God HAS to move and do what I ask Him to do.” Ummm, no sweetie. Our intimacy with God and time spent with Him should be based on our genuine love for Him and our thirst to know Him and look more and more like His Son, Jesus Christ. We have totally abused the sovereignty of the Lord, and allowed our control issues to blur out God’s ultimate leadership. We must get back to that place where we allowed God to have full control over our lives, including our plans…

There has been multiple times where I grew tired of waiting. I began to question God, I began to accuse Him, I began to grow tired and angry at God and also myself. I felt as though God’s promises would never manifest in my life because I didn’t see anything changing. The enemy had me in the mindset of, “If it didn’t happen by now, it will never happen.” Instead of me casting that lie back down to hell, I dwelled on that thought for about 3 months. I began losing motivation to seek God, I began to abandon the things that He had told me to do, such as continuing to blog. It was a mess! I was a mess! I was probably at one of my lowest points in my walk with the Lord. I couldn’t hear His voice nor feel His beautiful presence anymore, due to my lack of seeking His face how I usually would. I allowed the lie of the enemy to determine God’s promise and what He had already told me. So many of us have allowed lies to drown out the voice of the Lord. The enemy is a liar and that will NEVER change. We have allowed “our” timing to become an idol in our lives. God is the author of time, His timing goes beyond our own understanding to which we can’t fathom. God is the author of peace and not confusion, also. When we go ahead of God and the order that He has placed for us, we cause confusion and chaos in our lives. When we cause things to happen before God’s original plan, they usually don’t manifest the way that God has already planned for it to…and, that isn’t God’s will for your life. His will is for things to happen in order and when He has predestined for it to happen. Don’t focus so much on what other people are doing that you miss out on God’s precious timing for YOUR life.

Society has made it a norm to do things when we want to do them. This world has made it ok to rush into things that take time. Well, as believers, we are NOT called to be in this world, but of it… John 17:16 – They are not of the world, even as I am not of it. This also includes the fast pace, and worldly timing. Because we are in this world, doesn’t mean that we must submit and conform to the patterns of the hunger and thirst of the speedy mentality that this world carries. We must get disciplined in this area especially, or we will continue settling for going ahead of God’s timing.

 

Waiting Involves Negatives And Positives

Negatives: Discontentment, worry, doubt, fear, comparison, insecurity, confusion, irritation, jealousy, anger.

Positives: Contentment, peace, order, happiness.

These negatives and positives are what builds you during the waiting process. They help you self reflect on what you need to allow God to work on through you. The waiting period truly shows your true heart and motives no matter the good and the bad. This period shows if you TRULY trust God the way that you proclaim. This isn’t an easy process to go through, but it is necessary. God is so faithful, that He will take you through this process to get your heart right, and also to test your faith and trust in Him. Think about it, if God gave us every single thing that we wanted, when we wanted it, we definitely would not appreciate those things due to the state of our hearts, our attitude, and appreciation…and, God knows that! God wants us to have nice things, and the things that we desire, but if our hearts are filled with idols and other gods, most likely you will not see those things until you allow God to come into your heart completely, and knock down those idol walls.

Exodus 20:3 – “You shall have no other gods before me.”

 

Waiting Involves Seeking God

Many of us see this process as a waste. This is a great time to sit before the Lord and seek His face like never before. This is a great time to get to know your Heavenly Father. We sometimes think that “waiting” means to just sit around doing absolutely nothing. Wrong! While you wait, you can allow God to prune and mold you into who He desires for you to be. While you wait, you can plan. While you wait, you can allow God to get your heart in the right posture for what you are waiting to receive. While you wait, you can break bad habits, break cycles, and start a daily routine of becoming better. When your waiting period is over, you can’t expect the character building and change of your hearts posture to be where it should be if you don’t focus on enduring the preparation while waiting. There is a time to plow, a time to sow, and a time to reap, but they are never done all together or at the same time. These things have their own season and time periods that God allows. Understand that God has His hand on your life. He already has a plan for you which will be birthed during His timing. But, in the meantime, don’t get discouraged, don’t lose hope, don’t lose faith in the Lord, don’t stop seeking Him, and don’t stop being faithful. It will all happen when it’s supposed to happen, it’s happening now although you can’t physically see anything changing. Waiting involves clinging onto God and His timing, instead of being comfortable and content with your timing which isn’t dependable.

Scriptures for Meditation:

Psalms 37:7-9 – Be still in the presence of the LORD, and wait patiently for him to act. Don’t worry about evil people who prosper or fret about their wicked schemes. Stop being angry! Turn from your rage! Do not lose your temper–it only leads to harm. For the wicked will be destroyed, but those who trust in the LORD will possess the land.

1 Corinthians 15:58 – So, my dear brothers and sisters, be strong and immovable. Always work enthusiastically for the Lord, for you know that nothing you do for the Lord is ever useless.

James 1:12 – God blesses those who patiently endure testing and temptation. Afterward they will receive the crown of life that God has promised to those who love him.

Micah 7:7 – As for me, I look to the LORD for help. I wait confidently for God to save me, and my God will certainly hear me.

Romans 12:12 – Let your hope keep you joyful, be patient in your troubles, and pray at all times.

 

Prayer: 

Heavenly Father, I thank you for being faithful. Lord, help me to keep my eyes fixed on you and nothing else, no matter what I may face. Allow me to see the goodness in all that you allow, including the waiting period. Let your will be done in my life, and not my own. Help me not to idolize my own timing, and step ahead of you. God, your timing is perfect and I trust you and have faith that you will never promise me something and not keep your promise. I cancel and rebuke every demonic thought and lie from the enemy, and I send it back down to hell where it came from. Father, help me to be content with where you currently have me. In Jesus name, amen.

 

I love you and Jesus loves you more! Remain faithful and intentional. – Jemiah MB

 

 

 

What’s Stopping You?

What’s stopping you? Maybe it’s that friendship, relationship, job, or even yourself. There has been plenty of times where I allowed myself from reaching my best ability in Christ. There has been times where I didn’t feel worthy enough for God to use me, due to my downfalls and weaknesses. Even when God confirmed my purpose to me multiple times, I would still doubt and question God about it. “God, how can you use me? After all of the mess that I’ve done…from doing things that weren’t pleasing to you, and etc..” You see, I would allow my past and the things that God ALREADY forgave me for, define me of who I am in Christ. I allowed those very thoughts to STOP me from walking fully into my purpose. Sometimes, WE are our own hinderances. We try to blame everything on everyone but ourselves, when God makes it plain to us for what we need to do to better ourselves. God reminds us in His word of our identity, strength, and who we are through Him. Everyday that you wake up, is another step of seeking the Lord and asking Him what your purpose on this earth is. Yes, YOU have a purpose here. Before you were even formed inside of your mother’s womb, God knew you and He predestined a purpose inside of you (Jeremiah 1:5). It is ok to pray and ask God to reveal to you what that very purpose is. The enemy will try to plant seeds into your heart of disbelief, doubt, fear, or unworthiness like he did with me, but you ARE worthy. God knows your beginning and your ending. He already knows the plans He has for you, plans to prosper you and NOT harm you, plans to give you hope and a future (Jeremiah 29:11).

 

Why is my purpose important? 

I’m glad you asked! When we decide to accept Jesus Christ into our hearts and become saved, we are now adopted into the family of God through Jesus Christ. Now, you are apart of the body of Christ. As the Body of Christ, we all have different gifts and parts that God blessed us with that’s attached to our purposes. Your purpose is important because if one part of the body isn’t operating the way that it should or if you aren’t in position, that will cause dysfunction in the body. Without the brain, how will everything else function in your body? The brain is what controls motor function, the body’s ability to balance, and it’s ability to interpret information sent to the brain by the eyes, ears, and other sensory organs. It is similar to the Body of Christ! In order for the body to function properly, every part needs to be in alignment with each other. The gifts and purposes that God blesses us with matter. Sometimes, I think to myself, “Eh, my purpose isn’t THAT important” or “I don’t have an audience of 500 people, or a stage, so who are my messages reaching? Is my purpose even being noticed by anyone?” If you’ve ever thought any of those thoughts, the answer is YES. Your purpose is important. It does not matter if it doesn’t seem as big as that pastor, or that prophet, or evangelist. Your “audience” is Jesus. God did not give us these gifts and purposes for our own clout, selfish gain, or popularity. It is so much more bigger than us, our purposes are to draw people to Christ and to give God HIS glory…If you desire to be used by God, you have to get to a place of humility and selflessness. You have to put yourself aside, and completely submit yourself to Jesus. That is what it means when you say YES to God and the purpose that He has for you. There is beauty in all of this. God cares so much about your purpose, that He will put you in a season of preparation. In this season, you will go through challenges and downfalls, but God uses those things to build your character, faith, endurance, and to change your heart. Isn’t it beautiful how God will place you to the side, just to prepare you and equip you for the purpose He has for you? Don’t ever neglect or brush this season off. Make it up in your mind that you will endure and get to a place where you will do everything that you need to do, to endure this season. It may be a difficult season, but God is with you and He isn’t picking with you, He is simply disciplining you, pruning you, and molding you. I encourage you to keep pressing on! There are people depending on you to get into position.

“If one part suffers, all the parts suffer with it, and if one part is honored, all the parts are glad. All of you together are Christ’s body, and each of you is a part of it.” 1 Corinthians 12:26-27.

“God has given each of you a gift from his great variety of spiritual gifts. Use them well to serve one another” 1 Peter 4:10.

“We can rejoice, too, when we run into problems and trials, for we know that they help us develop endurance. And endurance develops strength of character, and character strengthens our confident hope of salvation. And this hope will not lead to disappointment. For we know how dearly God loves us, because he has given us the Holy Spirit to fill our hearts with his love.” Romans 5:3-5.

“And have you forgotten the encouraging words God spoke to you as his children? He said, “My child, don’t make light of the LORD’s discipline, and don’t give up when he corrects you. For the LORD disciplines those he loves, and he punishes each one he accepts as his child.” As you endure this divine discipline, remember that God is treating you as his own children. Who ever heard of a child who is never disciplined by its father?” Hebrews 12:5-7.

 

Prayer: 

Heavenly Father, I say YES to the purpose that you have for me. I desire to please you and bring glory to your name in all that I do. God, thank you for caring about me and loving me enough to discipline me. Forgive me for ever doubting you and not trusting you with every area of my life. Use me the way that you desire to use me, and help me to get into position to be used by you. In Jesus name, amen.

 

I’m praying that this helped you, encouraged you, and that it was edifying. I LOVE YOU AND JESUS LOVES YOU MORE. – JemiahMB

I Just Want To Be Alone!

Have you ever just wanted to shut down everything, even the relationships you have with your friends and family and just wanted to be alone? I know I have. There’s been times when I’ve been in different situations where I wanted to say forget everything and everyone and just wanted to close myself up in my room all day. Not knowing that that was not the solution to the problems that I would deal with. Isolating yourself out of emotion is not the answer. Removing yourself from certain situations and people because of how you “feel” is not necessarily the best thing to do. God desires for us to fellowship and be involved in activities that not only bring glory to His name, but things that will keep us in great places both spiritually and mentally. We have to understand somethings, there is a “good” isolation, and then there’s a “bad” isolation… before I explain the differences, here’s a scripture explaining how important it is to be in fellowship:

“Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their labor: If either of them falls down, one can help the other up. But pity anyone who falls and has no one to help them up. Also, if two lie down together, they will keep warm. But how can one keep warm alone? Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is not quickly broken.” Ecclesiastes 4:9-12.

Demonic Isolation (Fleshly led)

There are different ways that the enemy can come in to try to destroy you. One of those ways is isolation. Sometimes, we don’t notice ourselves allowing our feelings (flesh) to get the best of us and put us into terrible situations, which is why we need to be led by the Holy Spirit and not our feelings…no good thing comes from the flesh (Romans 7:18). You may feel like no one is there for you, or you’re not good enough, or you’re not welcomed around a certain crowd or in certain situations, which makes you want to isolate yourself from those very things…but, that won’t take the feeling away. When we act on our emotions and isolate ourselves because of how we “feel,” that gives the devil an open door to come into our minds and create all of these lies that aren’t true. This type of isolation causes sin, depression, hurt, selfishness, anger, and etc. None of these things come from God. The enemy loves to have a field day in our minds and with our thoughts, which is why the word of God tells us to cast down EVERY imagination that does not align up with God’s word (2 Corinthians 10:5). When we cast down those negative, demonic thoughts, and speak the word of God over our lives and our situations, we’ve won. Never give satan an opportunity!! Cast down, block out, and rebuke every lie from him. He’s been a liar and a deceiver from the very beginning. Instead of isolating yourself, get into the word of God, prayer, and worship.

“Stay alert! Watch out for your great enemy, the devil. He prowls around like a roaring lion, looking for someone to devour.” 1 Peter 5:8.

“You will be accepted if you do what is right. But if you refuse to do what is right, then watch out! Sin is crouching at the door, eager to control you. But you must subdue it and be its master.” Genesis 4:7.

Godly Isolation (Spirit led)

Now, on to the healthy isolation!!! This type of isolation is beneficial to your walk with Jesus. Sometimes, we can get too caught up into other things BUT Jesus. Sometimes, we can get easily distracted by the world and what’s going on around us, that we miss out on what’s truly important which is pursing Christ. When things like that happen, that’s when God steps in to get your attention. He will add, take away, rearrange, break down, and etc to get your attention. Don’t worry, this is a great thing! If God has to, He will strip you from anything that’s simply taking your attention, hindering you from growing closer to Him, and distracting you. Most times, when these things happen we want to give up and throw in the towel. But, it is all working together for your good. Everything that God does IS purposeful, so trust Him. Personally, when I find myself becoming distracted and too caught up into other things that’s going on around me, whether it be social media, people, tv shows, and etc, I’ll isolate myself to refocus on Jesus. You will know when you need to “unplug” to refocus because you will have an urge. You will literally feel the Holy Spirit tugging on you to let go of everything and spend time in the Lords presence. This type of isolation is beautiful…cutting off everything and putting ALL of your focus on Jesus…ahhhh, there’s nothing like it! During this season in your life, you will experience God on another level. There’s a beauty in giving God your undivided attention. Sometimes, people won’t understand or they’ll think you “disappeared on them” or “cut them off” but YOU need to do all you need to get to that place of humbleness and surrender before Jesus. Don’t focus so much on the opinions of man! The only opinion you should be concerned about is God’s opinions about you. Is He pleased with you? Is YOUR number ONE priority to please Him? Take a second to think about that…

Even Jesus isolated Himself and took time away to pray and talk to God…and, since He is our example, we should do the same. I encourage you to take a few days away just to focus on the Lord, we sometimes get so caught up in other things that we neglect our foundation, Jesus… He wants you, don’t allow the lies of the enemy to tell you otherwise.

“After sending them home, he went up into the hills by himself to pray. Night fell while he was there alone.” Matthew 14:23.

“But Jesus often withdrew to the wilderness for prayer.” Luke 5:16.

“Before daybreak the next morning, Jesus got up and went out to an isolated place to pray.” Mark 1:35.

Prayer:

Heavenly Father, thank you for wisdom, knowledge, and understanding. God, please protect my mind and thoughts from any attacks from the enemy. Cover me in your precious blood and give me the desire to pursue you no matter what’s going on around me. I give you my feelings and emotions. Help me to cast down every lie from the enemy that does not align up with your word. In Jesus name, amen. 
I’m praying this helped you, encouraged you, and that it was edifying. I LOVE YOU AND JESUS LOVES YOU MORE. 💗 – JemiahMB